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"We got ol' sundance, ridin' around trying to raise the Colorado River. I say do we really need more river? Let's move IT."
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"Send money so myself and some other scientists can begin the process of moving a small part of the ocean back toward the wet part of the river."
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"You're concerned about the migration patterns of the Rufus Sided Toe-Hee? You know what I'm concerned about? Surfers."
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"Specifically American professional surfers. They suffer from a lack of adequate surfable coastline in North America."
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"Hey Kelly, how would you feel about more ocean?" "Yeah, sounds great."
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"Mooooove the oce... Ocean."
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Awkward.
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"While I admire your passion for the earth and I loved you in Dances with Wolves, you're out of your league."
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"American ingenuity and pull yourself up by your bootstrapedness"
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"The ocean is big. Vast. Maybe a little too big for ol' sundance. You like to grow a big beard in the winter and shave it in the summer? You like to wear fringe leather jackets?"
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"You can eat shit, Robert Redford."
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"Oh, God."
Everyone loves Kelly Slater. Everyone loves Will Ferrell. And everyone loves Robert Redford, especially your Mom.
Ol’ Sundance is trying to reconnect the Colorado River, which, due to human intervention, is in pretty dire straits right now. According to the website that was designed to raise ten million dollars for the plan, adding less than 1% of the river’s annual flow would put us on our way to “restoring 2,300 acres of forest and marsh along a70-mile stretch of river, generating rural economic activities and job opportunities for local people, including river restoration, tourism, recreational hunting, and sport and commercial fisheries.”
Ferrell, however, is more concerned with the plight of the surfer – especially the American professional surfer. He’s got a different plan: Move the Ocean. Slater’s all in.
Nah, he’s in Redford’s corner. Try and donate to Move the Ocean.org, and you’re donating to RaisetheRiver.org. Tricked ya!
