Aaaaah, April Fool’s. The time when retailers and media can blatantly lie to consumers without fear. Nuclear-powered wave pools made by Kelly Slater and Kim Jong Un? Japanese wave pools with 20-foot tubes? Sure! This year, outdoor clothing giant REI got in on the action with their REI Co-op ZipAll. “For the first time ever,” they explained, “we’ve designed a piece of apparel so versatile and customizable it almost defies common sense.”
You probably have a friend who is constantly buying the most tech new gear. It’s likely they have those completely unnecessary hiking poles and a new pair of hiking boots every three months. Their hiking shirts are sweat-wicking, air-breathing, AI using, computer modulated, voice-activated, and flux capacitated. They constantly tell you about their new gear while you sit there in your old boots, regular old cloth pants, and a stinky old shirt. That person is annoying. Here’s hoping they fell for this.