The Ugly
The WaveJet: no paddling? No thanks. Photo: WaveJet
WaveJet
Surfing without paddling. I hear, when you buy one, they also make you sign a contract in your own blood.
World Title Mixup
You can’t tabulate your own points system? You need some guy with a calculator commenting on a surf message board to point it out? From where I stand, it’s mildly amusing. If I were a pro who had spent the last six months flying all over the world to surf in beach breaks, I would be the guns of Navarone.
Mustaches and Asymmetrical Haircuts
If you think the lip slug is “ironic” you don’t understand the meaning of the word. If you think dropping a Grant on something you could have done to yourself in a dark room with a pair of safety scissors makes you appear more artsy…well, I hear Dane Reynolds has a water color and crayon exhibition coming up.
Entourages
No grown ass person needs more than a coach/trainer and perhaps a wife or girlfriend with them.
Surf Art
You know how it’s annoying when people buy a few surfboards, splash around in the lineup and then start telling everyone they are a surfer? Art is the same way. No, I will not buy your sunrise tube picture/lineup shot/Lassen-inspired psychedelic dolphin print.
GoPro
Unless you are Brian Conley, even your own mother doesn’t want to see it.
