Comedy

Hi. We're Al and Ted. Today was a lay day for the Pipe contest, so we decided that we'd do some big wave training for the upcoming swell. Training is difficult though, so we mostly just ate radioactive fish and scowled at rainbows.

Al and Ted’s Excellent Pipeline Adventures: Lay Day

6 min read Dec 13, 2013

We’re Al and Ted. We've decided to cover the Billabong Pipeline Masters by taking photos of cock chasing, James Franco, and the newest Triple Crown champion, Ted.

Al and Ted’s Excellent Pipeline Adventures: Day Two

4 min read Dec 10, 2013

Booties Autocorrect

6 Ridiculous (Semi-Explicit) Surfer iPhone Autocorrects

1 min read Dec 9, 2013

There really is a lot more to The Billabong Pipe Masters than the wave itself. We'll get an actual photographer's photos to show you the surfing action, but for this piece, you'll have to make do with amateur photos of porta-potties and dogs wearing hats.

Al and Ted’s Excellent Pipeline Adventures: Day One

5 min read Dec 8, 2013

6 Keys to Surviving the North Shore

3 min read Dec 7, 2013

F*cking Runners!

5 min read Nov 26, 2013

Ball chafe is the worst. Like, the worst. Walking around all bow-legged like we've been riding an extra wide horse for a week, grimacing while trying to look casual – it's bad. But there is relief, thank God. I've taken the liberty of testing some for you. And no, there will not be photos.

The 4 Best Ball Creams Out There

6 min read Nov 22, 2013

Dave Wassel and Jacob explain the pain of being dropped-in on.

(Sexual) Tensions Rise after Bodyboarder on Shark Burns Santa Monica Surfer on Epic Day

2 min read Nov 7, 2013

Jeff Horton, a Kauai surfer and former boxer, beat up a shark on Sunday morning. Horton and about ten others were surfing near Kilauea at Pila‘a Beach when a fin popped up.

Former Boxer Jeff Horton KOs Shark

2 min read Oct 24, 2013

Coral Cuts is a series that features interviews with some of the Top 34 surfers. Episode 2 features such quotes from Parko like, "I'd rather a penis for a nose than a nose for a penis."

Coral Cuts: Pro Surfers’ Would You Rather

1 min read Oct 6, 2013

"Alex, come jump in with us!" Occy calls through his greasy shimmer, his voice riddled with poorly-hidden passion. The scene moves on with Rick ignoring him and running down to the sea. "We had a connection," he mumbles into the tub full of hot oil.

Alex Explains Surf Movies: Rick and Occy Bond in North Shore Deleted Scene

4 min read Sep 29, 2013

After several decades of enduring off of its own sheer will to survive, Surfing Etiquette sadly breathed its last gasp in the summer of 2013, at an undisclosed location somewhere in Southern California.

Obituary: Surfing Etiquette

2 min read Sep 15, 2013

Coral Cuts: Donkey Love, Tattoos and Famous Surfers

1 min read Sep 10, 2013

Top 5 All-Time Dumbest Surf Inventions

The 5 All-Time Stupidest Surf Inventions

3 min read Sep 9, 2013

A few years ago, I moved to southern California for a few months. There are a lot of flat-brim hats, Toyotas, and dogs wearing spiked collars walked by people eating "bomb-ass carnitas." These guys pretty much sum up my four months in about five minutes.

Parody: Inside SoCal

1 min read Sep 8, 2013