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Johnny Utah

Johnny Utah

Former Eff Bee Eye Agent/Quarterback Punk

Man Pushed Off Cliff for Incorrectly Calling Famed California Surf Spot ‘Steamers’ Too Many Times

2 min read Mar 19, 2019

Iowa surfer

Iowa Man Who Identifies as a Surfer Despite Never Having Surfed Lashes Out at Online Critics

4 min read Feb 23, 2019

When it's on, it's on.

Man Sets Record for 853 Consecutive Dawn Patrol Checks Without Surfing; Still ‘Too Much Tide’

4 min read Feb 13, 2019

Guy pointing surf lineup

Michigan Man Fined for Pitching Illegal Tent at Lowers to Claim ‘Local Status’

3 min read Feb 4, 2019

Photoshopped traveler with surfboard

Surfer Dodges Airline Baggage Fees With ‘Emotional Support Surfboard’

3 min read Feb 1, 2019

Canada's border wall was easy to finish. The country simply used its snow.

Breaking: Canada Announces That Its Border Wall Is Already Finished

3 min read Jan 11, 2019

The spot above was posted to an Instagram account which led a Santa Cruz-based surfer to go postal in the comments. Photo: Provided

Surfer Berates Instagram Account for ‘Blowing Up the Spot’ He’s Posted Photos Of

2 min read Dec 4, 2018

Blink-182 is coming to Lemoore! Photo: WSL

Blink-182 Is Rocking the Surf Ranch Pro, and It’s the Best Thing the WSL Has Ever Done

4 min read Aug 15, 2018

keanu reeves peeing in wave pool

Yeah, I Missed the Wave of My Life… But I Peed in Kelly’s Pool

5 min read Jul 14, 2018

Rumor: John John Florence to Conduct Knee Rehab at Giant Cloudbreak

2 min read Jul 9, 2018

The WSL Is Looking for Its Next Commentator: Must Be 11-Time World Champion

2 min read Jul 2, 2018

‘Jaws’ Explained in 5 Minutes of Brutal But Hilarious Honesty

2 min read Jun 26, 2018

OC Man Suffers Incredibly Severe Sunburn After Waiting 6 Hours for ‘Last Wave In’

3 min read Jun 19, 2018

Report: California Bro Doesn’t Feel Normal Until Adrenal Glands Are Stuffed, Causing Seizures

3 min read Jun 15, 2018

I AM the Greatest Halloween Costume Idea for Surfers

2 min read Oct 30, 2017

The beanie and tee combo. A SoCal specialty, as seen by a younger version of Kelly Slater. Photo: WSL

New Study Reveals Important Findings on the SoCal Beanie-with-Tanktop Phenomenon

3 min read Oct 11, 2017

Sick Graphs #3: What Warchild Lived For

1 min read Sep 20, 2017

This Completely Honest Trailer Explains Just Why Point Break Is the Greatest Film Ever

3 min read Aug 2, 2017

Bodhi, who had been living under the alias Angelo Pappas, was apprehended when an attempted bank robbery went awry in a small New Zealand town.

Captured Bank Robber Who Claims He’s Bodhi Evaded FBI for 26 Years

5 min read May 26, 2017